You’ve spent decades waking up with purpose. Schedules. Deadlines. Conversations over coffee. Maybe you raised a family. Maybe you built a career. Maybe both. And now—suddenly—it’s quiet. No calendar packed with meetings. No morning rush. No external demands. You finally have time… but you might not know what to do with it and could use some retirement advice.
If retirement feels disorienting, emotional, or not at all like you thought it would, you’re not alone. This chapter is often painted as a reward—years of rest and relaxation—but for many, it brings unexpected challenges.
At BHSI, we walk alongside people navigating life transitions with care and compassion. And we know that the shift into retirement is about so much more than money—it’s about identity, purpose, and rediscovering who you are outside of what you’ve always done.
Let’s talk about how to cope with the emotional transition into retirement, and explore the kind of retirement advice that nurtures your mental and emotional wellbeing—not just your finances.
What is the best retirement advice you ever got?
We often ask our clients this question—and the most meaningful answers have little to do with spreadsheets or investment accounts.
The best retirement advice we hear often sounds more like this:
- “Don’t retire from something—retire to something.”
- “You’re still allowed to grow, dream, and change.”
- “Structure your day, even if you don’t have to.”
- “Rest isn’t something you earn. It’s something you deserve.”
Yes, financial preparation matters. But so does emotional preparation. So does giving yourself permission to be a beginner again—to try, explore, or simply be still.
One of the biggest gifts you can give yourself in retirement is to treat this transition with the same care and intention you gave every other big moment in your life.
Because this isn’t the end. It’s a new beginning. And you don’t have to rush to “fill the space” to make it meaningful.
What is the 3 R Rule in retirement?
If you’ve done any Googling, you’ve probably seen mention of “rules” to follow in retirement—often focused on money. But at BHSI, we think the 3 rule in retirement should be about mental health, not just financial health.
So here’s our take on the 3 essential “rules” for a thriving retirement:
- Routine – Not rigid, but rhythmic. Having some structure in your day—like morning walks, coffee with friends, or set times for hobbies—can help combat feelings of aimlessness or isolation.
- Relationships – Stay connected. Reach out. Join something. It doesn’t have to be big—just consistent. Retirement can feel lonely if your social world shrinks along with your responsibilities.
- Renewal – Give yourself permission to explore. Take up a hobby. Volunteer. Travel. Rest. Whatever feels like you—now, not then.
This version of the 3 rule in retirement is less about surviving, and more about thriving. Because mental wellbeing matters just as much as your savings account.
And if you’re not sure what “renewal” looks like? That’s okay. Sometimes the first step is simply allowing yourself to not have it all figured out.
When retirement feels like loss
It’s okay to grieve.
Retirement is often treated as a celebration—and for many, it is. But it can also feel like loss. Loss of identity, routine, community, or purpose. You may feel untethered, invisible, or uncertain of your value outside of work.
That grief is real. And it deserves to be acknowledged.
You might find yourself asking:
- Who am I without my role?
- Does anything I do now matter?
- What do I do with all this time and quiet?
These aren’t signs of failure. They’re signs of transition. Of change. Of a human being adjusting to a life that looks and feels very different.
Retirement advice often skips this part. But we won’t. At BHSI, we encourage clients to name the grief, sit with it, and honor what they’re letting go of—so they can make space for what’s next.
What no one tells you about free time
You worked for this. You earned it. But the sudden wave of “free time” that comes with retirement can feel overwhelming.
Without external demands, you may:
- Sleep too much or too little
- Feel guilty for resting
- Experience a dip in mood or motivation
- Miss the small moments of meaning that work once provided
This doesn’t mean you’re doing retirement wrong. It means your brain and body are adjusting to an entirely new rhythm. And that takes time.
One piece of retirement advice we often share? Create “anchor points” in your day. Little things that give your time some gentle shape—like a morning walk, an afternoon call, or a regular lunch out. It’s not about productivity. It’s about steadiness.
Because free time isn’t always freeing—especially when you’re carrying invisible questions about who you are and where you’re going next.
You’re still allowed to dream
One of the most powerful shifts in retirement is realizing that your story isn’t over.
You’re still allowed to:
- Make new friends
- Try new things
- Learn, fail, and start again
- Set goals that matter to you
- Redefine what success means in this season of life
You don’t have to fill every day with activity to prove you’re doing retirement “right.” Sometimes rest is the goal. Sometimes joy is the goal. Sometimes healing. Sometimes discovery.
The best retirement advice we can give you? Stay curious. About yourself. About the world. About what this chapter might hold—not because you have to do more, but because you get to.
Final Thoughts: You’re Not Lost—You’re Becoming
If you’re feeling lost in the transition to retirement, please hear this:
You are not lazy. You are not behind. You are not “past your prime.”
You are in a liminal space. A quiet doorway between who you were and who you are still becoming.
That space can feel uncertain. But it’s also full of possibilities.
At BHSI, we offer more than just coping strategies. We offer compassionate, meaningful support for navigating the emotions of change—especially change that nobody warned you would feel so big.
Whether you’re grieving your old routines, wondering who you are now, or trying to figure out how to fill your days without losing yourself—we’re here. With therapy. With tools. With kindness.
Because this chapter of your life matters. And so do you.